“Pastor, I’m leaving the church …” What follows is almost never a good or solid reason. Then, too, there are those who dress up their offense, wrapping it in religious language. “Pastor, God is leading me to another church.” Honesty would benefit both of us. Oh, how I wish the offender would say, “I’m angry and I hope to punish all of you!” Then, we could deal with the real problems.
Most leavers seem to think that if they go away, everyone will miss them, realize how important they were, and that the gears of ministry will grind to halt. That seldom, if ever, occurs. There is a gap for a while, then somebody else steps in to take up the responsibilities of the one who left and the work of the church goes on. Usually the one who leaves suffers more than the church he left. He breaks off old friendships and his kids get dislocated from supportive relationships. I often wonder if there is regret once the anger cools or the sense of offense lessens?
Severing relationship is the worst way to ‘settle’ a grievance! Nothing is solved. The problem is internalized where it festers and continues to infect future relationships. What we need is the grace and courage to face our fears, work through our emotions, and put the work of Christ ahead of our own interests. A divorce, be it from a former spouse or from a church, is an ultimatum that seldom produces the anticipated results. It may take care of one set of relational problems, at least temporarily, but it will always create a new set of problems, too.
In His great wisdom, God reminds us, "Live in harmony with each other. … And don’t think you know it all! Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” (Romans 12:16-20, NLT)
It takes real maturity to suffer loss and stay loving. It requires crucifixion of ego to go through some misunderstanding and extend forgiveness that is complete and without reserve clauses. When I see someone who chooses to love the Body of Christ more than himself stick with his church, keep a good heart, and let his offense go; I rejoice for I know that he has chosen wisely and that God will turn his sorrow and/or loss into joy down life’s road. Instead of sowing bitterness into the hearts of his kids, his actions teaches those kids an invaluable lesson by example. Instead of swallowing the poison of wrath by holding a grudge, he chooses to drink deeply of Living Water that heals his soul. Instead of wrapping himself in burlap of self-pity, he puts on the garments of praise that lifts him from despair.
Are you angry today?
Has someone offended you, failed to appreciate your work, or falsely accused you?
Have your expectations gone unmet, your desire to be affirmed ignored or been unnoticed? There is a choice to be made. You can attempt to vindicate yourself and punish the offender. If you do, everybody loses. Or you can do what God asks, inviting the Holy Spirit to fill your heart with transforming grace.
Here’s a word from the Word. Let’s live it.
"Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness." (Colossians 3:13-15, The Message)
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There is only one God!
There is only one King!
There is only one Body!
That is why we sing.
Bind us together, Lord,
Bind us together with cords
That cannot be broken.
Bind us together, Lord,
Bind us together,
Bind us together with love.
Bind Us Together
Gillman, Bob
© 1977 Kingsway's Thankyou Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing)CCLI License No. 810055
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