Wednesday, June 14, 2023

A Sure Path to Unhappiness


“Compared to him, I feel worthless.”  “She is so beautiful, I’m ugly.”  “If only I had his opportunities in life, I know I would do better.”  And so it goes for those who look around and compare themselves or their lives with those of others. Rates of anxiety and depression in teens doubled in just one decade with 1 in 3 girls reporting that they have actively thought about suicide!  This is a direct result of social media lets kids ‘look’ at the images created by others, comparing themselves. Yes, teens and young adults have always measured their achievement and worth by comparison to their peers, but the pool was much smaller before the arrival of the smartphone that connects us to the world, literally. It is not just a kid’s problem, either. Many adults struggle to find contentment in life because they do not think they ‘measure up’ to the accomplishments of others.  

Christian, are you content to be the person God made you to be, using the gifts that God gave you?  That is a tough question, isn’t it?

Jesus told a story about God’s rewards for the faithful. The story is not about equality, surprisingly enough to us. The owner of the estate entrusted his employees with portions of his wealth while he was away for a long time. "He gave five bags of gold to one, two bags of gold to another, and one bag of gold to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities—and then left on his trip. The servant who received the five bags of gold began immediately to invest the money and soon doubled it. The servant with two bags of gold also went right to work and doubled the money. But the servant who received the one bag of gold dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money for safekeeping." (Matthew 25:15-18, NLT)   

When the owner returned he rewarded the first two equally, though one had provided significantly more gain than the other. Why? The answer is found in these words:   Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount.”  He found them faithful, their efforts applied to the excellence!

But, then there is the sad story of the other guy.  He came in offering excuses, reminding the owner of his high standards, holding up the dirty bag of gold, claiming at least he had kept it safe. He received a scathing condemnation, ‘wicked and lazy.’  He had not be faithful, even to his lesser abilities.  Then there is this conclusion that Jesus gives - "To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who are unfaithful, even what little they have will be taken away." (Matthew 25:29, NLT)

All of God’s children are gifted children, not necessarily with IQ’s of 140 or great physical strength. He gives us the life of the Spirit, restoring us to our right heritage as His children through Christ Jesus. Then, that same Spirit enables us to give, serve, lead, show compassion, be craftsmen, teach, pray, share the love of God with others, speak with wisdom, offer insight --- the list is long! Here is the call to you and to me: "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms." (1 Peter 4:10, NIV)  God does NOT expect you to be Billy Graham or Mother Teresa. He desires the best of you, offered to Him in faithfulness.

Comparing ourselves and our successes to those of others frequently leads to another terrible thing- the inability to rejoice in their successes.  The man who enjoys a flourishing business ‘must be a crook to make that much money.’  The pastor who leads a large church ‘can’t be teaching the real Gospel.’  And on and on it goes!  We can be deceived to think that by tearing another down we lift ourselves up.  Jesus forbade that. “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." (Matthew 7:1-2, NLT)  Judging and criticizing another’s life will inevitably turn us into mean and ugly people, bereft of happiness  and contentment.

The pathway to contentment is found in pleasing God;  looking up, not around. Comparison is not even reasonable. None of us has exactly the same experiences, backgrounds, or advantages. We cannot hope to replicate the life of anyone else nor should we expect anyone to replicate ours. God knows and loves each one of us as unique persons.  God’s grace finds us in our sin and is sufficient to lead us to a place where we can be who He wants us to be.  You are not valuable because your body is some ‘ideal’ size, because you drive a certain car, have an Ivy League degree, or live in a home straight out of Good Housekeeping.  God does not care if you are a professional or a laborer, rich or poor. He desires faithfulness to His calling and excellence in the use of His gifts and our opportunities.

Are  you comparing?
Are you trying hard to achieve some ideal based on another’s life?
Are you craving the approval and applause of friends?  You will be unhappy! Thankfulness will elude you because those goals are a mirage, always out there on the horizon: shimmering, beautiful, and elusive.

Here is wisdom from the Word, a sure way to be joyful thankful.  Read it, believe it, and – by God’s grace – live it. 

"If you are wise and understand God’s ways, live a life of steady goodness so that only good deeds will pour forth. And if you don’t brag about the good you do, then you will be truly wise!

But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your hearts, don’t brag about being wise. That is the worst kind of lie. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and motivated by the Devil. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every kind of evil.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no partiality and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness." (James 3:13-18, NLT)

Choose to be thankful.
Change your life to meet God’s call.
Be thankful.
Contentment will be your blessing.

(Video of this blog at this link)

____________________

Find Us Faithful

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us
Line the way
Cheering on the faithful
Encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament
To God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great
A cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race
Not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness
Passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us
Find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion
Light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live
Inspire them to obey (to obey)
(Oh may all who come behind us)
(Find us faithful)


After all our hopes and dreams
Have come and gone
And our children sift through all
We've left behind
May the clues that they discover
And the mem'ries they uncover
Become the light that leads them
To the road we each must find

 

Find us faithful
Oh may all who come behind us
Find us faithful

Jon Mohr © 1987 Birdwing Music (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)

Jonathan Mark Music (Admin. by Gaither Copyright Management)

CCLI License # 810055

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