Missed expectation, what then?

The build-up begins. Anticipation builds. It’s going to be the most awesome vacation ever. Then, the week arrives and we’re exhausted, the flights are delayed, and the weather is terrible. What then? Disappointment! We all know the feelings that come with missed expectations. It can be as minor as a poorly prepared meal on a night out, or that "this new computer isn't nearly as fast as I hoped it would be.”  It can be heart-wrenching like rejection, criticism, or failure. Our deepest disappointments are centered around our relationships, when people we trust and love betray us.

Somebody once told me, "Blessed is the man who expects nothing for he will never be disappointed!" I refuse to become that kind of person; just existing, with no hopes, no dreams, no love. It is one way to avoid a broken heart. It is also a sure route to a life without the richness God purposes for us. Is that how you want to live- safely insulated from both joy and sorrow hiding away from real life? I doubt it very much.

So what can we do with life's disappointments?

We guard against cynicism and bitterness of missed expectations by keeping our ultimate hope fixed on God!  Isaiah 40:30-31 teaches "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." That does not mean that we will understand everything that He allows to enter our lives. We may develop expectations of our Father in Heaven that are unrealistic or beyond the Promise of His Word. But, if we will trust Him implicitly, He will carry us through our disappointment.

We guard our spiritual and emotional health by learning to forgive, quickly and completely!

Forgiveness is releasing others from our demand that they act in ways we approve or like. Forgiveness IS NOT telling another, "Just forget it. What you did or did not do doesn't matter." That's not true. When a person fails us, breaks our heart, rejects us, or harms us - it does matter! Our disappointment is real. Forgiveness is a choice to dethrone Self. Forgiveness is born in us when we give our pain to God and trust in His final justice. When we release that person who has disappointed us to God's court, oh what freedom we gain. Anger, hatred, and bitterness that accompanies disappointment finds no fertile soil in which to take root in our heart. Jesus, when teaching his followers about prayer, reminded us to pray ,"Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors... But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:12) That connection ought to give us real reason to be forgivers.

There is a time to adjust our expectations, a time to maturely learn to accept that many situations are out of our control. AA taught me the Serenity Prayer originally credited to Reinhold Neibuhr. It is aptly named. If we pray it honestly we will find God’s ‘peace that passes understanding.’

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,

not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.

Are you spending day after day fretting and fighting to make everything fit into your plans, your purposes, aligned to your comfort? The result will be a life of misery, missed expectations, bitterness, and loneliness. Far better to choose to trust God with yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Struggling with disappointment? Jesus understands, His heart was broken, too.

Take the sorrow, the ache, to Him. Share it honestly. There is no need to sugarcoat it. He knows us from the inside out. As you pray, be open to His comfort and challenge. He may not soothe you until He changes your attitude. He knows best.

Here’s a word from the Word. It’s a treasured truth!

"We have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it." (Hebrews 4:14-16, NLT)