War At Home

War At Home

-          Guest author - Sean A. Scott

We're in the midst of a war . . . not over there but right here, on this soil, in your home or neighborhood. We're surrounded- there are double agents and traps set everywhere. Whether you're seeing it or not is one thing but it's real!! And I'm angry. This isn't some conspiracy theory rant or scare tactic. I'm not some unstable fringe type whose spreading nonsense. I am a dad and husband in a world that doesn't respect either title and the gravity of the position. "Oh, yes they do!" you say!  Really?

Just this past week I've heard directly about numerous marriages that are on the brink- one or both parties, ready to call it quits. But they're not alone, there are millions going through the same thing right now and the MAJORITY will throw in the towel. Not because they have to but because they want to; it's just easier. Forget easy!

"They know not what they do." They're seeing three feet in front of them not a mile down the road. Each time a covenant is broken our culture becomes a little weaker. Now that's an over exaggeration you say! Is it though? Whole, solid families are the foundation of any society. This isn't an American ideal I speak of; this is a human race ideal. Name one society that can rise on the backs of broken homes? Name one!

But why am I so angry, you ask? Because we've trampled the covenant of marriage! We've tossed it aside because the Housewives of NY, LA and wherever say it's fine through their swollen, injected lips. If I hear " . . . just do what makes you happy", one more time! We've taken away any sense of shame or failure to divorce. We're so obsessed with self that the rest of those in your life that you committed to get to pay, no matter the cost! That's why I'm angry!

I knowingly entered into a covenant relationship when I married Natalie. You know what 'covenant' means?  It means we enter into a sacred vow that we both promise to honor before God. This isn't a contract like a lease agreement or bank loan. This is entering into an agreement that transcends earthly commitments. In essence we're saying, "God I promise you this!" Again, that's big!  

Promising your creator that you will love, take care of and honor your wife for the rest of your days . . . THE REST of your days.  

Not until you're unhappy or frustrated with her.
Not when the money runs out.
Not when she gets boring or grumpy.  

Not when she gets sick.  

This covenant says, no matter the circumstance (besides infidelity) you will stand by her side. You will love her more than yourself.  Did you read that? LOVE THEM ABOVE SELF!

Selfishness is a child's game. Once we come of age, our decisions should largely be about others; building the foundation for those that come after us. When you marry, this is especially true! At the moment of the exchanging of vows you are stating that your life is no longer your own, that you are living to serve and love them. And that gets even more amplified when children come along. The marriage covenant now includes the lives of your offspring. As you have committed to your wife, you now owe your life to your children. It's not about you anymore!

And that's why I'm angry because we're continuing to act like it is and should be about us but we still dabble in "being married." The result is bad- look around! We are raising the first generation of children that will know more broken homes than whole ones. What is that going to look like for them? Will they even know the meaning of commitment, integrity, perseverance, etc.? Will they? Because actions speak WAY louder than words and we're trashing the covenant of marriage right now. It's a joke! So forget about our economic and physical battles that are going on and fight the battle at home!
Fight for your spouse!
Fight for your children!
Pursue each other.
Taste the bitter pill of sacrifice but reap the rewards that follow.  

Stop blaming! Start learning to love when it's the last thing you want to do. Look into your children's eyes and see the impact you have on their future.

For the sake of all that is good and right, believe and invest into your marriage!

__________

The word from the Word for us today calls us to know love that we might live in love. "This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves." (1 John 3:16, The Message) " My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love." (1 John 3:18, The Message) "As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us." (1 John 3:24, The Message)

Sean A. Scott lives with his wife, Natalie, and daughter, Selah, in West Palm Beach, FL where he is proprietor of Habatat Coffee Company)