Alone? He’s Always There

I avoided being alone for my entire life. When Bev, my late wife, was away even for a day I was uncomfortable. Then, she died two years ago.  In the six months that followed her death, going home from the office in the afternoon often brought on an emotional storm. Many days I wept as I drove those miles to my house. Sometimes I parked in my driveway and stayed in my car, at least for a few moments, just to avoid the empty house.  Loss, accompanied by loneliness, has been difficult, to say the least.

Two years after her death I have learned to be ‘alone’ and found a new depth of knowing Christ, too. There are things about ourselves and Him that are best known in solitary! Oh, yes, I know that the Scripture is clear that the richest and most whole Christian life requires community of the Church. Paul’s well-known illustration of the normal Christian life is the human body. He says "The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. … Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." (1 Corinthians 12:12,27, NIV)  Those who discard the Church because of her failures, do so at their own peril.  

Yet, there is a place of spiritual formation that happens when we are alone with the Spirit.

I have found that being alone need not be lonely, that there is a kind of inner communion with Christ that can be richest in the silence.  One of my favorite authors writes that “One reason we can hardly bear to remain silent is that it makes us feel so helpless. We are accustomed to relying upon words to manage and control others. A frantic stream of words flows from us in an attempt to straighten others out. We want so desperately for them to agree with us, to see things our way. We evaluate people, judge people, condemn people. We devour people with our words. Silence is one of the deepest Disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on that.  When we become quiet enough to let go of people, we learn compassion for them.”  ― Richard J. Foster  Can we find that kind of ‘silence’ apart from being alone? Not easily, I think.

Jesus taught us to find a place alone for our intimate prayer. There we can become most honest to God and ourselves. There, if we will learn to go deep, we can hear both His challenges and His promises, and enter into the kind of wordless prayer that is described as "groanings that cannot be expressed in words." (Romans 8:26, NLT)

One of the discoveries of my unsought status as a single man is the loneliness of so many people around me. Many elderly persons are truly lonely, often spending days without meaningful human contact. Those who struggle with chronic illness often are isolated, too.  I have talked with teens who are not blessed with charm, who are ignored by peers, and discovered a kind of loneliness that crushes the human spirit. Oh, yes, our modern technologies offer us ‘relationships.’ We can pull up Facebook and ‘feel like’ we are connected on that social network, but it is a poor substitute for real human interaction. We can turn on the TV and choose to vicariously enjoy a romance or a hero’s exploits, but then the screen goes dark.

The paradox of loneliness is that it teaches us to value people in a different way. Instead of just craving companionship or conversation, we learn to value just being, loving the laughter of a child, the tears of an elderly person, the partnership of those with who we share discipleship!  One of the curious results of my hours alone is my new-found way to love those around me, with greater acceptance, with less judgment, and with deeper empathy.

Are you in a season of life where you are experiencing loneliness?  Has your marriage gone stale, leaving you feeling alone?  Have you, like me, lost a loved one to death? Has divorce, job loss, or relocation made you feel alone?  Know this – Jesus is a Friend that is ‘closer than a brother.’  That is not a cliché nor is meant to be a Band-Aid™ on your wound. It is an invitation to find His love.  Choose faith in your struggle.  Pray honestly, even allowing the Spirit to take your groans and shape them into petitions of our Abba.

Hear is a word from the Word. May this draw you to comfort in Him. "Be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid." (Hebrews 13:5-6, NIV) “Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” (Psalm 37:7)
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What a Friend we have in Jesus

All our sins and griefs to bear

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer.

Oh what peace we often forfeit

Oh what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer.

In the hands of the Architect

For months, I visited the office of the architect who was designing the church building in which we now worship. His work fascinated me, taking ideas and turning them into plans! He talked with the building committee, finding out what the purpose of the building would be, trying to understand the desires of the congregation – for then and the future.  Along with that committee, I looked at the sketches that gave us a glimpse of his proposals. Together, we worked and refined the concepts. Ultimately he produced a stack of blueprints that guided the construction of the worship center that has housed the church for 39 years!

Does your life sometimes feel chaotic, like a jumble of responsibilities that compete for your time and attention? Do you wonder what could possibly emerge of value from all of it? Put yourself in the hands of the Architect!  The Lord of life has a plan for us and He desires to make us into a beautiful place where others can see Him working.  That is not just my opinion. It is the Truth of the Word. "As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ." (1 Peter 2:4-5, NIV)

Those blueprints contained many pages of detail that could not be understood apart from the larger context, but the architect had the whole project in mind. The wall details, foundation plans, for example, were part of his overall design.  The Divine Architect is working with us, sometimes in ways that can only be understood within the context of His eternal plan.  So let’s work with Him!  Peter calls us “living stones.”  Unlike a block of granite, we have will and choice. We can let Him place where He desires, or we can resist and mar the design. We can find our place in His Church, serving as He designs, or we can go it on our own, missing the joy of being a part of work that began before we were born and that will continue long after we are gone.

On this Monday morning, I want to encourage you to pause and ponder the amazing promise; that God has a plan to include you in His  ‘spiritual house.’  Are you allowing the beauty of His worship – spiritual sacrifices – to be offered in you and through you?

Our word from the Word enlarges the thought. Meditate on it. "By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. . . .  Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple." (1 Corinthians 3:10-17, NIV)

Lord God, the Architect of my life,

I pray to be like a living stone in Your hand.
Take my life and shape it into a thing of beauty,

Where Your glory is revealed, where You are worshiped.
Give me wisdom and insight to build

In a way that turns my life into those precious materials

That will survive to Eternity.

Holy Spirit, teach me to trust, to live in an obedient response.

In Jesus’ Holy Name.  Amen

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My Faith Has Found a Resting Place (worship at this link)

Life – on your own terms?

The conversation, though 50 years old, remains in my mind. A man who I, as a teenager, saw as a success, who was striving to make his place the company he worked for, insisted that if I wanted to amount to anything in life that I must learn to set my own sail, to make sure that others heard my voice.  He insisted that no one else would be my champion, that I must take charge and push for the head of the line. From what I could see his life confirmed his counsel. He had overcome many disadvantages to gain the kind of things that most see as indicators of success.  

Years later, as an adult, I met him again and saw a lonely man, one whose ambition had caused much pain to others.  He died in debt, still striving for his own success. Mr. B. was not unique in advising me to press for my own advantage. I have known hundreds since then who are caught up in the world of intrigue, power, and strategic alliances that shape the culture of ‘success.’

What does the Lord say to us?  James, inspired by the Spirit, says - "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." (James 3:13-18, NIV)

Real success is not defined by how much of my agenda I accomplish, nor is it measured by how many work for me.  Those who would live best and leave the richest legacy cannot choose expediency, willing to do whatever is required to ‘get ahead.’  God invites us to a life marked by humility, a true understanding of who we are, the gifts we enjoy, and who value those around us. Blind ambition, fed by love of Self, will destroy our families, our business endeavors, and our churches!

Note how James defines the truly wise person.  He is “first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others.”  Are those qualities cultivated in you? Does the Spirit have the lead in your heart and mind so that your daily choices are without shadows and questions as to motive?  Are you building relationships, actively seeking to bring people together?  This life, the Word says, produces a life that is lived near the heart of God, that enjoys a wealth that is very different from the temporary wealth that may be gained by those who attempt to live on their own terms.

In this first week of 2018,  may I suggest an evaluation of your goals, your motives, your vision?  Ask the Holy Spirit for insight.  What ‘wisdom’ guides you – the advice of those who do not know Christ, or the truth of the Spirit?

Here is a word from the Word.  Meditate on it today. 

"Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked,
or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers.
But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.
They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.

But not the wicked! 

They are like worthless chaff, scattered by the wind.
They will be condemned at the time of judgment.
Sinners will have no place among the godly.

For the Lord watches over the path of the godly,

but the path of the wicked leads to destruction." (Psalm 1, NLT)