Who do you call at midnight?

At a wedding on Friday evening, I had the privilege of watching a group of people gather to celebrate. They had grown up together, invested time in each other, had their disagreements and disappointments, and still after 30 years, they were friends. Even though I was the ‘outsider’ it was a warm, inviting atmosphere. 

Exactly what makes people bond? Why are some people more ‘likeable’ than others? How is it that some attract a circle of friends that stays strong while others struggle to maintain even a few close relationships?  Physical attractiveness and social status can be things that make a person ‘popular’ at first, but unless there is character and depth under the surface, those people are not going to be able to sustain friendships.

So what builds and strengthens the kind of friendships that will enrich us for life? In no special order, let’s explore a few.

Commitment is a key. We want to know that if we put in time with a person, they are not going to abandon us when somebody ‘better’ comes along. Ruth, whose story is told in the book in the Bible that bears her name, went through tragedy, losing her husband. Her mother-in-law, also widowed, decided to return to Israel from Ruth land, Moab.  When the time came for their paths to diverge, Ruth asked to accompany Naomi.  Her words are an amazing declaration of commitment. "Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17, NIV)  How many people have you made that kind of commitment to?  “I’m going to be here for you, share your life ‘til one of us leaves this life!”

Christlikeness must be in evidence, too. Jesus is my Lord, my Savior, my Hope. The people that I want closest to me are those who love Him, too! “Spur one another to love and good deeds,” the Bible says. Paul invited those he knew to “Follow me as I follow Christ!”  We need friends who help us keep the right focus, who help us overcome our failures, whose very presence in our lives makes us better people, for God’s sake.

Selflessness is important! Paul urges us to learn to love each other in a way that wants the best for the other guy. "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." (Philippians 2:1-3, NIV)  Who can form a real and deep attachment to a person who is only interested in himself? It is tiresome to spend much time with a person who we know will always make they take care of themselves first. Real friends are encouraging, listening, loving, taking an interest in us – through the up’s and down’s of life. And, we do the same for them.

Be yourself! Nobody really wants to be the friend of a person who is pretending to be someone else. Have the confidence to live with yourself, to be who you are, not who you think someone wants you to be. Yes, authenticity is important in lasting friendships.

Resilience matters. Life is going to get tough, sooner or later, for us all. Death will visit our family. Things will go upside down in our job. Sickness may come. We are attracted to those who do not fold up under the pressure, who do not turn into victims.  Those who are hopeful, who choose authentic joy, who get back up when they are knocked down, inspire us and we want to learn from them. “Where does your strength come from? How can you bounce back from that experience?”  David gathered friends who stuck with him in the worst times. Those men were willing to go to battle with him, ready to live in exile alongside of him. Why? One of the things that makes David’s life so compelling is his resilience. He fell. He had hard times. But, he also had faith and stood up time and time again. These were not just words for him, they were the declaration of the way he lived in faith. " A psalm of David. In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. … Praise be to the Lord, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city. …  Love the Lord, all his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful, but the proud he pays back in full. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." (Psalm 31:1,21,23-24, NIV)

And, of course, there is LOVE. In that famed chapter, Paul describes the kind of love that makes friendship what it ought to be. "Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. " (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, The Message)  Not the stuff of a movie romance, is it?  Do you love?

When you are in a crisis, who can you call at midnight?  Those people are true friends. If you have not built those kinds of relationships, start now. Pray for a place to invest yourself.  Show up, be part.  Make a commitment to your family, your church, your friends. Find those who also love Christ. Serve joyfully. Refuse to play the victim, forgiving, growing, anticipating God’s future for your life. And, friendships will form that will be among your richest resources in this world.

Here is a word from the Word. Lord, inspire us to richer relationships, make us friends in the family of God. "We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions." (1 John 3:16-18, NLT)

___________

Friends

(listen to this old song at this link)

Packing up the dreams God planted

In the fertile soil of you

Can't believe the hopes He's granted

Means a chapter in your life is through

But we'll keep you close as always

It won't even seem you've gone

'Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever

If the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say never

'Cause the welcome will not end

Though it's hard to let you go

In the Father's hands we know

That a lifetime's not too long

To live as friends

With the faith and love God's given

Springing from the hope we know

We will pray the joy you'll live in

Is the strength that now you show

No a lifetime's not too long to live as friends

Deborah D. Smith | Michael W. Smith

© 1982 Meadowgreen Music Company (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)

CCLI License # 810055

Are there answers for those questions?

I had a long, interesting conversation about “truth” yesterday.  We talked about Who Jesus is, about the importance of the Scripture, about how to understand the meaning of Creation. What is truth? There is a question that requires careful thought. I do most certainly believe in absolute truth but knowing that Truth is not as easy as it may sound. Remember Pilate’s question of Jesus? When the Lord told him that He was sent into the world to “testify to the truth,” the Roman governor cynically asked Him, “What is truth?” (John 18:37)

The early days of my spiritual journey were shaped around the idea that the world was a place where there were only right answers and wrong answers, where issues were formed around solid black and white principles with no grey areas. As I matured I found that there was an additional category – “things we don’t talk about!”  There were complicated and difficult issues that fell into that category and, if a question was raised, you got a lecture about the importance of ‘just trusting God,’ which I later figured out was code for ‘we don’t know how to answer that and stick with our system of truth!’ I also learned that there were some things that were declared true that were simply preferences. It was all terribly confusing to a teenager trying to hang onto to his faith.

The temptation that came from all that was to discard faith, but God was there. He revealed (an important word in the discussion about Truth) Himself in the created world, through the love of wonderful Spirit-filled people, by the work of the Spirit, and in the Scripture. I learned that honesty in dealing with Truth did not require me to have an answer for all questions; that I could and should say, “I do not know,” and leave it at that. I also learned to live with mystery – with the fact that God and His Truth are just too big to fit entirely inside of my head. Some things He choose to let me comprehend, some He asks me to discover with careful study, and some remain in the ‘to be continued’ category.

God reveals Truth and, at the same time, requires us to discover it!  Sometimes it just shows up like a beautiful new day dawning and sometimes it slowly emerges from long study and reflection. But, willingness to grapple with ‘truth’ be it about physical laws of the universe or spiritual laws about pleasing God – brings great benefit to those who align themselves with it. Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32, NIV)

Jesus’ most ardent enemies were people who thought of themselves as being pursuers of truth. But their ability to know the truth was corrupted by willful disobedience and by their insistence on maintaining their accepted traditions, which led to their refusal to live in the Spirit, to drink of God’s Living Water. Jesus challenged them - "Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly.” (John 7:24, NLT)

Disciple, are you pursuing the Truth?

• Be a student of the Scripture and a person who loves God personally and intimately.
• Invite the Holy Spirit to pull back the curtains and let you ‘see’ the wonders of God’s plans and purposes!
• Watch out for deception that comes from living in open sin. Yes, if we persist in disobedience when we know better, we will become deaf and blind to the things of the Spirit.
• And, do not allow yourself to be intellectually lazy or spiritually tradition bound!

 Are you wrestling to know God’s way for your life in some area. Is your desire to align your life with His will, but the ‘truth’ is hard to discern.  Here is a promise that Jesus made to His disciples on the night of the Last Supper. Meditate on it and take the deep assurance offered by the Word with you into a world full of uncertainty.

"But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. … But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you." (John 16:7,13-15, NIV)

____________

Abba, sometimes the questions weigh heavily on me.

I wonder about the how, the why, the when, the where … of Your will.

Some days Your purpose gets hidden by the pain in this world,

by the insistent voice of sin and evil, or by my own doubt.

Thank you, Jesus, for the promise that the Spirit is with me,

revealing You, showing the Way.
Help me to readily respond to what I know is true and right.
Give me courage to ask myself the hard questions,

the diligence to dig for discovery, and

the patience to wait for revelation.

And, as the beauty of the Truth is revealed,

I will rejoice in You and the world will see You more clearly,

in me!  I praise You for loving me.
Let this Truth be the anchor for my heart.

Amen.

“Do you love me more than these?”

What is it that you value, that helps you to feel safe and secure in this world?  We all have ‘treasure’ that we are tempted to hang onto.  When I asked our Bible study group about childhood treasures, Chris spoke about having a tattered old blanket that her mother threw away. It was worthless to most everyone except to Chris. For her it was a treasure!  Tony told us about driving past the home of a woman who died a couple of months ago. There in the front yard was an industrial sized dumpster. Things of her life were now being discarded, useless to others. 

I remembered a hero to me, a young man named Jim Elliott, who took up the call to missions work in Ecuador after graduating from college in 1952.  Three years later, he was killed by the very people he was trying to reach with the Gospel. He lived out a phrase recorded in his journal – “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose!”

Jesus’ words about our ‘treasures’ are not difficult to understand, but actually adopting them as our guiding wisdom is truly a challenge, particularly in a culture like ours.  He said, “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be." (Matthew 6:19-21, NLT)  Shaping life around a house, collectibles, investments, or other material things will lead to inevitable disappointment because they will, eventually, decay, corrode, or get taken from us. 

What then? Loving things will, beyond question, cause us to lead to a lesser life.  

Let’s not read His words to us and run to the extremes. Jesus does not forbid the ownership of things, the use of money, or the accumulation of financial reserves. The whole of the Bible’s wisdom includes many passages that praise good management, diligent efforts in business, and savings that are there for times of need. Jesus asks us this - Do we own your stuff or does your stuff own you? Do you use what you have to live or do you love what you have gained, making your things into idol gods that give life its purpose and meaning?  

The more we have, the more critical it is for us to invite the Spirit to reveal to us our attitude about our cars, homes, and bank accounts. Jesus spoke of the ‘deceitfulness of wealth!’  Subtly our trust can shift from God, our Father, to the Bank, our security!  

 A man once came to Jesus to inquire about becoming his disciple and finding eternal life. He was very moral, claiming to have observed the Commandments scrupulously. Jesus did not question the truthfulness of that claim, but knowing his heart, he challenged that rich young man to go and sell everything he owned. Then he said, "come, follow me."  His response? "But when the young man heard this, he went away sad, for he had many possessions." (Matthew 19:22, NLT) His true treasure was revealed in that last line - he would not let go of what he loved most - his wealth!

Would you answer the Spirit’s call to lead a volunteer ministry or would you tell yourself, “I have too much work to do, a living to make” and excuse yourself from serving?

If the Lord asked you to take a lesser place, would you reduce your standard of living without complaint, or would you insist on keeping your current income to maintain your store of treasure?

As you plan for life, which question is in the forefront of your thinking –

What does the Lord want of me? Or,

What will provide more financial security, pleasure, and/or independence for me?

In the same sermon, Jesus warned we cannot ‘serve two masters.’  We cannot love Mammon (stuff, money) and God, at the same time.

In a post-Resurrection conversation on a beach at the lake in Galilee, Jesus asked Peter, who had gone back to fishing; back to what he knew, back to a ‘treasure’ he could hold in his hands- a hard question. Jesus pointed to the fishing boats, the familiar life of Capernaum and asked him- "Do you love me more than these?" (John 21:15, NLT)  Peter realized that his treasure was misplaced and he left it all behind for the sake of the Gospel!

Here's a word from the Word to ponder today. "True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows." (1 Timothy 6:6-10, NLT)

_____________

Be Thou My Vision

(worship at this link)

Be Thou my vision

O Lord of my heart

Naught be all else to me

Save that Thou art

Thou my best thought

By day or by night

Waking or sleeping

Thy presence my light

Riches I heed not

Nor man's empty praise

Thou mine inheritance

Now and always

Thou and Thou only

Be first in my heart

High King of heaven

My treasure Thou art

High King of heaven

When vict'ry is won

May I reach heaven's joys

O bright heaven's Sun

Heart of my own heart

Whatever befall

Still be my vision

O Ruler of all

Eleanor Henrietta Hull | Mary Elizabeth Byrne

© Words: Public Domain