The Good Misery of a Guilty Conscience

After feeling the sting of guilt, becoming aware of failure, I prayed - “Father, thank you for making me miserable. You have preserved my life with your convicting Presence.” Yes, it may seem strange to thank God for a guilty conscience. However, those feelings of shame and guilt over thoughts, words, or actions that are unworthy of a follower of Christ are His way of correcting us, leading us to the place of His blessing and favor.

David, Israel’s king and poet, a man who loved God and yet made some terribly sinful choices describes the misery of guilt. "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer." (Psalm 32:3-4)  Nothing hurts like a guilty conscience.  Temptation comes and presents us with a decision – to choose to resist or to do what ‘feels good’ in the moment.  If we decide to let those cruel words batter another, if we choose to lie, if we refuse the truth – we should be thankful when the sword of the Spirit slashes our conscience.

Have you ever experienced the misery of guilt? Guilt can keep us awake all night. It can make a delicious meal tasteless. It can turn a song into sound that only aggravates us like the scraping of fingernails on a chalkboard. Remember - all guilt is not bad.  Paul wrote a hard letter of correction to the Christians of Corinth. Apparently it caused many to feel real sorrow. Note what he says - "For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death." (2 Corinthians 7:10, NLT) He took no pleasure in his rebuke telling that he sent the letter while shedding ‘many tears.’ But, he hoped for a response of change, and it happened!  

There is false guilt. Our conscience can be damaged, made too sensitive by constant criticism or scarred into uselessness by constant abuse. But, if our conscience is functioning in a healthy way, responsive to the Holy Spirit of God, informed by the truth, we should thank the Lord for the bone-deep ache that comes when we cross the line from right to wrong.

That ache that David felt after his sin was called out by Nathan, the preacher, was healed. How?  He owned his failure and changed his ways.  (You can read his prayer in Psalm 51) Never underestimate the joy that can be discovered in confession! "Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.” Suddenly the pressure was gone— my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray; when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts we’ll be on high ground, untouched." (Psalm 32:5-6, The Message) Confession liberating,  letting us experience God’s forgiveness. Often sincere confession will also win the forgiveness of another person, even those we have wronged in the most serious way.

The next step to healing is not to play the victim or offer up excuses. God looks for genuine repentance. Many people want release from guilt. Many even regret what they have done because of the negative consequences, but they feel little need to change their ways! The ancient people of God disobeyed the Lord confessed, but then would not turn to follow Him! They only wanted relief. They had no hunger to be holy. They would not turn around to pursue God. Will you?  Joel tells us about real confession and repentance that bring the restoration of our souls. "Come, spend the night in sackcloth, you who minister before my God; … (Joel 1:13, NIV) “Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity." (Joel 2:12-13, NIV)

Are you alienated from the Lord who gives you peace? Is guilt keeping your prayer silent, robbing you of worship, making you miserable?  Thank God for the gift and then with humility of heart, tell Him what you have done and ask Him for strength to live as He desires.  He will abundantly pardon.

Here is the word from the Word.  "Where is another God like you, who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of his special people? You will not stay angry with your people forever, because you delight in showing unfailing love. Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean! You will show us your faithfulness and unfailing love as you promised to our ancestors Abraham and Jacob long ago." (Micah 7:18-20, NLT)

__________________________

Search Me O God (Cleanse Me)

Search me O God and know my heart today

Try me O Savior know my thoughts I pray

See if there be some wicked way in me

Cleanse me from every sin and set me free

I praise You Lord for cleansing me from sin

Fulfill Thy Word and make me pure within

Fill me with fire where once I burned with shame

Grant my desire to magnify Your Name

Lord take my life and make it wholly Thine

Fill all my heart with Your great love divine

Take all my will my passion self and pride

I now surrender Lord in me abide

J. Edwin Orr

© Words: Public Domain

Outrage and Insult

A friend posted a remark online reflecting his sense of outrage over an issue that Christians have debated for centuries. It is a real problem and thoughtful people who want to serve the Lord best will wrestle with it. And, honest and good people will arrive at very different conclusions. When I suggested in a follow-up post that we might do better trying to encourage dialogue than expressing our outrage, several other people joined the ‘discussion.’ My appeal for conversation was quickly buried by angry words and even more outrage. 

Have you fallen into that trap, too?  Social media encourages us to ‘say’ things and in ways that we likely would not say in a face to face conversation.  But, there is another issue here, too. We are an angry culture, deeply divided, and quick to dig in to defend positions- big and small.

Let me point us again to God’s wisdom.  The Proverbs teach us that "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly. The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good." (Proverbs 15:1-3, NIV)  It is worth noting that final phrase is what gives us reason to be gentle people – God knows what is going on!  My appeal is not that we become people without convictions or that we fail to stand up for what is right.  What we need is less emotion, less outrage, and more willingness to hear, to reflect, before we respond.

I was once one of those Christians who was quick to throw a verbal grenade, to make sweeping generalizations about others based on limited knowledge. “All those … “ was the introduction to a great deal of foolishness from my lips! That is a source of real regret. 

Do I still find myself uncomfortable by the positions taken by others? I do.   

When those ideas threaten a cherished value or my convictions do I grow defensive? I do.   

Do I sometimes react before I think or listen?  I do.  

 But, I constantly remind myself that people and relationships are important.  My own life is a complex design of values and ideals that defy easy labels. Too many conversations I would love to have are shut down because I fail to meet some test in the eyes of another which, to them, means I must surely be an opinionated, bigoted, self-righteous old man who is incapable of understanding.  

James was the first pastor of the church in Jerusalem, a church torn by debate over the proper way to regard the Jewish traditions from which nearly all the first generation of Christians came. As more Gentiles came to faith, the debates over circumcision, kosher diets, Sabbath-keeping, and eating food that had been prepared in temples of idols became sharply divisive!  That wise pastor taught this - "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." (James 1:19-20, NIV)

Whatever ‘side’ you are on, whatever cause you advocate, whether you are young or old, male or female, whatever your political convictions – let us commit to put Christ first and to learn from Him. He calls us to peace. We do not have to affirm every position or idea of another to practice acceptance of the person.

Here is a word from the Word. May the Lord make us truly wise.

"Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding,
for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.
She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.
She is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
those who lay hold of her will be blessed." (Proverbs 3:13-18, NIV)

____________

Immortal Invisible God Only Wise

Immortal invisible God only wise

In light inaccessible hid from our eyes

Most blessed most glorious the Ancient of Days

Almighty victorious Thy great name we praise

Unresting unhasting and silent as light

Nor wanting nor wasting Thou rulest in might

Thy justice like mountains high soaring above

Thy clouds which are fountains of goodness and love

Thou reignest in glory Thou dwellest in light

Thine angels adore Thee all veiling their sight

All laud we would render O help us to see

'Tis only the splendor of light hideth Thee

© Words: Public Domain

A Quest for adventure?

Do you love an adventure?  Several years ago,  Bev and I flew to California and helped our kids move back to the East Coast.  We drove a rental truck loaded with household stuff through the deserts of Nevada and Utah,  over the majestic Rocky Mountains of Colorado, across the flat plains of the Midwest.  We ate in little local restaurants, stopped when we wanted, and generally enjoyed the days. It was an adventure.  Last week I “traveled” back to Israel while reading the posts and pictures of another couple making the trip. 20 years ago, Bev and I stood in some of those same places, another of our unforgettable adventures.

This Monday morning, are you ready to take an adventure?  Ok, I think some of you are laughing, right? “Sure, Jerry,” said with sarcasm, “because it is Monday and I’m off to work. There is no time for adventure.” Think again!  Not all adventures take us across the country or to some foreign location.  God, the Holy Spirit, has plans for you today.  Paul says "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.”  2 Corinthians 2:14

Don’t dismiss the idea. Open your heart to Him. Invite the Spirit to create moments of unexpected opportunities for spiritual adventures today. Perhaps there is a conversation waiting to happen that could help someone change course in life. Perhaps there is a moment with one of your children when you will find her heart open to you.  

Our highest calling and the place of our most lasting contribution to this world is where God and we walk together, discovering His plans. Make life a quest for the holy! Instead of looking for grand moments prayerfully look for God’s guidance in the ordinary and mundane. As much as I treasure the memories of Israel and that cross country drive, the real life I enjoyed with my sweetheart was the adventure of making a life together, watching four wonderful kids grow into adulthood, sharing the calling of leading a local church, seeing God lead and provide day after day.

Here is a word from the Word. Own it! "The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble." (Proverbs 4:18-19, NIV)

__________

Abba, raise my eyes,

Enlarge my vision!

Replace groaning with laughter,

Duty with delight.

In the ordinary give me

An awareness of Your holy Presence.

May I be wise enough

To seize every opportunity

To love, to laugh, to worship;

Yes, to live to the full.

That You, Jesus, may be

Honored in my thoughts, words, and actions.

Amen