In a worlds of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn it is often difficult to separate truth from reality, isn’t it? Big smiles can hide broken hearts. Resumes can be doctored to make an impression unrelated to the actual life of the person. Even the royals of Britain got caught publishing an edited picture of a Princess last week for reasons unknown.
When I was serving as pastor, I desired to lead a congregation that placed high value on being authentic, so that the people who gathered were willing to be no more and no less than they were. They could weep if necessary, find support in their times of failure, admit to doubts and fears, and celebrate true victories. The kind of openness can be messy. Sometimes we just want to put on smile and sing loudly so that others think everything is 'just fine' in life. Yes, I understand that social necessity requires some restraint of us. I make no case for excessive drama, but we need to work at being at home in our own skin, willing to be who we are without comparison.
Here is my question today - an important one.
Are you actually that person you try to make others believe that you are?
The place to begin is with self-awareness.
How clearly do you see your own values, understand your motives, define your real hopes and dreams, and fit into your circle of friends and co-workers?
Do you really knowyou’re your reactions including your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses affect the people around you?
People who are damaged emotionally by abuse or rejection, especially early in life, can struggle to escape the skewed understanding of themselves even as mature adults. People who have power and influence also can lose touch with themselves, accustomed to others telling them what they want to hear.
Christians can become more self-aware as they learn the discipline of silence and contemplative prayer, stepping out of the noise of living in a place where the Holy Spirit’s whisper can be heard. Jesus promised that He, the Spirit, would ‘guide us into all truth’ and that includes understanding ourselves better. When we become more authentic; owning our successes and failures, grasping the strengths and weaknesses, using the gifts that God has given us without coveting those of another, we are liberated from that awful ‘need to succeed’ that drives millions to create phony public images. Jesus says, “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought." (Matthew 5:5, The Message)
Please do not think that this kind of humility is to be confused with apathy, nor should we confuse being ‘contented’ with laziness. The Creator, our God, is worthy of our best and highest efforts in life: our personal best, not what others say it ought to be. It is hard to measure ‘best’ without comparing ourselves to others but that will lead us into the trap of image building and pride. Comparison will cause us to seek approval or to live in self-condemnation. We are socially trained to this. From the earliest days of schooling we get report cards and take tests that rank us based on our achievement. In fact, we cannot all be brilliant, top of the class! That is why God will never grade us in comparison. He sees us in totality - our personality, our opportunties, our training, our skills, our ability - asks that we live for His applause, using the gifts and opportunities presented to us to please Him.
I need to remind myself… and I’ll remind you … of this liberating fact:
The One who knows you best, loves you most!
Yes, He wants us to deal with our sins, to develop our gifts; but He does not want us to lose ourselves to the pressures of performance laid on us by our world. He has prepared a place for YOU and ME in His world and the Church that no one else can fill. He has uniquely equipped you to be a part of His faithful people who are sent to change the world. Paul was inspired by the Spirit to teach us that "There are different ways God works in our lives, but it is the same God who does the work through all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us as a means of helping the entire church." (1 Corinthians 12:6-7, NLT) What has He formed YOU to be?
Here is a word from the Word. Let this wisdom remove the pressure to ‘be somebody’ from you, an invitation to serve the living Lord authentically.
"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. As God's messenger, I give each of you this warning: Be honest in your estimate of yourselves, measuring your value by how much faith God has given you." (Romans 12:2-3, NLT)
He knows YOU. Know yourself. It is the best way to live!
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