The Best Kind of Friend

The best kind of friend

The story of David, who rose from a country shepherd boy to Israel’s hero and, by God’s calling to the throne, experienced encouragement along the way. He was not a ‘self-made’ man even though he was gifted, with deep faith and great courage.  He needed people who helped him achieve his greatness! As a young man, Jonathan, the apparent crown prince of the nation, offered encouragement helped David get through some awful times, knowing that he was giving away his throne in the process. Even when he was powerful, David had a council of advisors that the Bible calls "David's mighty men." Isn't that rich? These men believed in him and served alongside of him in the campaigns he waged for Israel's safety. What would he have been without these people? Only God knows.

I ask myself - "On the whole, am I a giver or a taker, a critic or an encourager?"  There are plenty of critics who will take note when our work is less than stellar or when we fail.  Far fewer will be those who who see the good, send the 'thank you' note, who help others achieve.  Why does cooperation require so much more effort than competition?

At a time when I was experiencing some doubts about my effectiveness in ministry, the congregation celebrated “Pastor Appreciation Day.” People were given the opportunity to write a note of thanks and the bundle was presented to me along with gifts. Those notes were like water poured on a parched plant. I read through them, some scrawled in childish handwriting, others written in flowing prose – and felt new strength surge within me.  Why?  I was encouraged. God used their kind words to tell me, "Jerry, I am using you to accomplish My work in this world. It’s worth it."  Encouragement can be like medicine for the soul.

Christians are directed (no, it’s not a suggestion!) to keep meeting together to "encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:25, NIV)  Though the meaning is not vague, so many choose to be only loosely affiliated with a local church.  Why? The purpose of that instruction is for our benefit, that we will gain the strength of being connected, mutually offering our gifts to the Lord.  Among those gifts are the relational ones. "If your gift is to encourage others, do it!... And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly." (Romans 12:8, NLT)

Some will 'encourage' you but for their own gain. They will fill your ear with words that are manipulative. If we are feelings self-doubt, we will be tempted to believe those flattering words. And, yes, it will hurt when we figure out we were used. I'm sure everyone of us can think of a time when we let somebody 'sweet talk' us into doing something or being somebody that we really were not. Proverbs, that treasure trove of practical wisdom, calls flattery a "a snare." It trips us up!

Be an encourager today!

• Don't flatter, but give praise.
• Take note of those who are often 'invisible' to the world, make eye contact, and say a sincere 'thank you.'
• If you know of someone who is struggling to keep their head above water - give them a call and pray with them, briefly and sincerely, for God's strength for this day.
• Has someone helped you make it through a hard time that is due a word of praise? Then, tell them TODAY!

You have a choice today as you deal with others- to dwell on missed expectations or to find ways to encourage. A bitter, cynical critic sucks the life out of every situation and relationship. An encourager, blesses and finds a blessing! "God didn’t set us up for an angry rejection but for salvation by our Master, Jesus Christ. He died for us, a death that triggered life. Whether we’re awake with the living or asleep with the dead, we’re alive with him! So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it." (1 Thessalonians 5:9-11, The Message)

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Lord God, the world teaches me to be a critic.
The talk show hosts, the movie critics, the political pundits,
and even some preachers, fill the world with angry words, hurtful words, negative words.
Their attitude sticks to me and makes me critical, too.
I pray that you would do a work in my heart and mind.

Help me to see the best, to choose to forget myself, and
to lift up somebody today who needs to be encouraged.

Make me a bright light of hope in a dark world of despair,
a source of refreshing words that bring life to the dry desert of someone's life.

As you have loved me, help me to love others, for Jesus' sake.
In His holy name I pray. Amen.