“Nobody ever comes through for me. I am so lonely. My only friend isn’t even human.” The words were sad, pathetic even. While I understood the person’s genuine emotional pain, after just a few minutes of conversation it was clear that he had wrapped himself so tightly in self-pity that no one could get through to him. Even sincere offers friendship were seen through a distorted lens that caused him to sabotage relationships. “Nobody will ever love me,” was an accurate, self-fulfilling prophecy!
John Maxwell writes that ‘a major cause of poor mental health is self-absorption. Selfishness ultimately hurts not only the people around a self-focused person, but also the selfish person himself. … That is the reason that Dr. Karl Menninger (renowned psychiatrist) responded the way he did when someone asked, ‘What would advise a person to do if he felt a nervous breakdown coming on?’ Most people expected him reply, ‘consult a psychiatrist.’ To their astonishment, he said, ‘Lock up your house, go across the railroad tracks, find someone in need, and do something to help that person.’” - Failing Forward, Nelson, 2000
A young husband wept as he talked with me. “How could I have been so dumb?” In counseling, a year ago, his wife had begged him for attention, asked him to be tender, and to take an interest in her. Stupidly, he responded ‘just deal with life. I am who I am and don’t plan to change.’ Months later, with a broken heart, she walked out on their marriage. Only then, did he realize how selfish he was; too late! If he had been willing to learn to give, to forget his need to ‘hang out’ with his friends, his wife would surely have met him half-way. But, he wanted to live on his own terms and now he could, alone.
The wisest Counselor said - "If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?" (Luke 9:24-25, NLT)
Gain by giving. Win by losing. Forget yourself, find yourself!
It just isn’t natural!
Perhaps not, but, it’s the truth!
In these troubled times, most of us will struggle with the instinct to protect ourselves, to hoard our resources, to feed Self first. Take the way of Jesus Christ Who said, "Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” (Luke 6:38, The Message)
___________
There are two kind of folks,
There's takers and givers.
There's gripers and complainers
and big-hearted liv'rs.
It depends on how we choose
to spend our days.
'Cause we can hoard up all we´ve got
or give it all away!
If you want more happy
than your heart will hold,
If you want to stand taller,
if the truth were told,
take whatever you have
and give it away.
If you want less lonely
and lot more fun
and deep satisfaction
when the day is done,
throw your heart wide open
and give it away
Copyright – Bill Gaither
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