Missed expectations bring disappointment. I bought a new computer and it was not as fast as I thought it should be, so I returned it to the manufacturer. A lady confided in me that "the man I loved with all my heart is incapable of reciprocating my love because he is so emotionally immature." She was considering divorce. Another man pulled me aside recently and angrily asked me about his own disappointment, carried for years. “God is not Who I thought He was. How could he let my son die at just four years of age?”
There is one way to avoid being disappointed. Wrap yourself in a tight little bundle of Self. I do not recommend it. If you withdraw from life, refuse to get involved with others, and avoid risk as much as possible, you will not experience nearly as much disappointment, but is that how you want to live, safely insulated from both joy and sorrow, hiding from life? People who are fully alive, working to make a difference in the world, and loving others will get hurt.
There is one way to avoid being disappointed. Wrap yourself in a tight little bundle of Self. I do not recommend it. If you withdraw from life, refuse to get involved with others, and avoid risk as much as possible, you will not experience nearly as much disappointment, but is that how you want to live, safely insulated from both joy and sorrow, hiding from life? People who are fully alive, working to make a difference in the world, and loving others will get hurt.
Several choices we make in those moments that will let us go on, growing in grace.
Primary among them is the critical decision to anchor our hope in the Lord! Isaiah watched his nation crumble around him, invaders come and destroy the city and the Temple, friends carried off to slavery. He might have slid into despair, but he went to the Lord and re-affirmed his trust. He inspires us to greater faith with a promise. "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:30-31)
People who fail need our forgiveness! And, we need to forgive. Forgiveness is a greater blessings to the forgiver than it is to the forgiven. Forgiveness, in one sense, is releasing others from our demand that they act in ways we approve or like. Forgiveness is a choice to submit to a higher purpose and to surrender our pain to God. We do so because we know that He will bring all things to justice in His time. When we release that person who has disappointed us to God's court, we find freedom from the anger, hatred, and bitterness that can follow disappointment. Jesus taught that unless we forgive, we cannot find forgiveness! "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.... But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:12)
Sometimes we must choose to adjust our expectations. It is possible to spend a huge amount of energy fighting to make everything fit into what we hoped for in life. That is actually a form of self-centeredness and it will always lead to a life of misery, bitterness, and loneliness. I love the opening lines of Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”
People who fail need our forgiveness! And, we need to forgive. Forgiveness is a greater blessings to the forgiver than it is to the forgiven. Forgiveness, in one sense, is releasing others from our demand that they act in ways we approve or like. Forgiveness is a choice to submit to a higher purpose and to surrender our pain to God. We do so because we know that He will bring all things to justice in His time. When we release that person who has disappointed us to God's court, we find freedom from the anger, hatred, and bitterness that can follow disappointment. Jesus taught that unless we forgive, we cannot find forgiveness! "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.... But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:12)
Sometimes we must choose to adjust our expectations. It is possible to spend a huge amount of energy fighting to make everything fit into what we hoped for in life. That is actually a form of self-centeredness and it will always lead to a life of misery, bitterness, and loneliness. I love the opening lines of Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”
Here’s a word from the Word. It is both a preventative and a cure for disappointment. If you’re struggling to make sense of the will of God, of the actions of others, or even of the mysteries of your own heart, start here.
"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do,
everywhere you go;
He’s the one who will keep you on track."
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do,
everywhere you go;
He’s the one who will keep you on track."
(Proverbs 3:5-6, The Message)
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